


What's Already Inside

by aj_linguistik



Series: SAO Prideweek 2019 [4]
Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bisexual Asuna, Coming Out, F/F, Mention of past Kirisuna, One Shot, SAO Prideweek 2019, Strength
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18425832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_linguistik/pseuds/aj_linguistik
Summary: Written for SAO Prideweek 2019's Day 4 prompt: Strength.It was difficult to talk to her mother. Even after finally having a heart to heart with her in ALO, she still wasn't sure how to get things across to her without causing problems. But she couldn't hide things forever. If she wanted to move on with her life, she had to take that first step.





	What's Already Inside

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, I only recently started shipping these two. But I really wanted to include them in this week (for my Alice on tumblr~~). I hit a lot of indecision with which prompt to give Alisuna. I wanted something that really highlighted them as people. I'll add my inspiration at the bottom. 
> 
> A special thanks to @camomilafil for beta reading again. (She put up with me ya'll and I dumped all of these too fast, forgive me, Fil >_<) She is truly a wonderful, talented person please look for her prideweek works as well!!!

It was late on a Saturday afternoon. Her mother was at home, so she’d picked now as a good time to spring the news on her. She stood there, in the doorway, her knees locked and her palms sweaty as her mother stared down at her. Their eyes met. Those cold eyes betrayed nothing, simply waiting for her to say her piece. She gripped the hand on her left tighter, quietly whispering to herself as she did so.

“Give me the strength to say what needs to be said.”

Yuuki Kyouko always firmly stood between the things which Asuna wanted for herself and, well, Asuna herself. That went for anything—school, hobbies, what kinds of clothes she wore, the food she consumed, and, most distressingly, her choice of a life partner. It had been one thing when she’d argued with her mother about Kazuto when they were dating.

But how in the world would she explain _Alice_ to her mother?

* * *

 

“So, I haven’t told my mother the truth about us,” Asuna said, grasping her drink in her hands tightly. “Unless she’s paying a little too much attention for comfort, to the best of her knowledge, I’m still with Kirito and that’s who I keep running off to meet up with.”

Her date, a girl about the same height as her with golden blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and porcelain pale skin certainly met the stereotypical image of Alice from _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_. Since she bore the same name, it often made Asuna giggle. But unlike the Alice from Lewis Carroll’s infamous novel, this Alice was an AI with an artificial body.

That probably made her and Asuna’s relationship rather…odd. What would people outside of her friend group think when they learned that her romantic partner was, for all they knew, an automaton?

She wasn’t sure which was scarier—telling her mom she was dating an artificially created human being or telling her mom that she was dating a girl.

“Have you thought up a plan for how to break the news to her?” Alice asked.

Asuna shook her head, her chestnut locks falling around her cheeks as she did so. Numerous thoughts had crossed her mind about when and how to tell her mother, but they always ended up as failed simulations in her head. Her mother wasn’t the most approving person when it came to selections of dating partners—she’d dealt with plenty of stress before with dating Kirito.

This was different though. Arguing with her mother about dating a guy seemed like nothing now. She didn’t know what her mother thought about two girls dating. She would hope that in 2026 her mother would be more open-minded. That hope wasn’t very strong, though. Asuna’s mother threw suitors at her left and right—not a single one of them had been anything but an older man.

“I don’t know the best way to approach it,” she said, staring down into her drink. “It’s like, I didn’t think twice about defending my relationship with Kirito when she found out. So, why should it be any different with us?”

Alice placed one hand on Asuna’s shoulder and smiled at her.

“In the Underworld, love between people who were the same gender was not permitted to be acted upon,” she said. “I sense that it is, or once was, the same here in this world. Not everyone is so bold as to step outside of what they have been permitted to do.”

“Am I a coward?”

Alice shook her head.

“You are brave in some ways and are afraid in others,” she said. “There is nothing wrong with this. After breaking the seal, I’ve slowly come to understand that fear is natural. Being afraid does not make you a coward. Submitting to it does.”

Those words circulated her mind, penetrating even the deepest crevices of her subconsciousness. As she navigated Alice’s words, her own worries attempted to block the pathway. She mentally hurdled each irrational fear as it came hurtling towards her.

_What if she’s homophobic?_

It doesn’t matter.

_What if she throws you out?_

She’d find a way.

_What if she grows cold and distant?_

She was already like that.

The further she went on this trail, the easier it became to counter the fears that dared to try and stop her. Alice had given her just what she needed: a boost in confidence. This was no different than talking to her mother about Kirito. A lover was a lover. She could tell her. There was no need to hesitate.

Like Alice said, these fears were normal—and they were understandable in this situation. She just had to fight the will to bow beneath them. Her fears didn’t own her. She wasn’t a coward. She was the vice commander, after all. She was Stacia.

She was strong.

Turning to Alice, she smiled, thanked her, and thrust her arms around, pulling her close. They shared a kiss. Asuna’s heart felt more at ease now. She pulled away and gazed into Alice’s reassuring eyes.

“Could I ask a favor of you?”

* * *

 

Her hand gripped Alice’s so tightly that she thought she might be hurting her. She quickly loosened her grip, hoping to relieve any possible discomfort. Maybe that was silly—Alice had an artificial body after all. She could probably withstand more than Asuna presently gave her credit for. As soon as her fingers let up, Alice squeezed her hand.

Asuna lifted her head, ensuring that she didn’t look weak or cowardly towards her mother. She remembered that she was strong. And holding Alice’s hand made her so much stronger than she already was.

It wasn’t that Alice made her strong—

No, she was already strong. Alice simply helped her to see that about herself. She reminded Asuna of what was already present inside of her. But holding Alice’s hand like this, in front of her mother, was a statement she had to make as a strong person. It solidified her stance. She wouldn’t let her mother tear her down, no matter what the reaction would be.

For a brief moment, she looked to the side, meeting Alice’s supportive gaze.

_I know you can do this, Asuna._

She smiled, tearing up slightly.

_Thank you for reminding me I can._

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, so, I picked strength for Alisuna because I think a lot of times Asuna gets so shadowed by Kirito even I forget who she is deep down. She's a strong person. She just needs to be reminded of it sometimes (citing SAO Progressive). And that resonates with even the theme of LGBTQ+ to me, because I have to be reminded so much that it sucks to be mocked and hated and told I'm mixed up or confused or sick all the time, but I'm strong. WE are strong. Despite society or family or friends choosing to take every opportunity to put us down, we are here today. 
> 
> Stay strong, gays.


End file.
